At 65 years old, this is the first Mother’s Day I’m having without Mom here to talk with, send flowers and a card to, to anything with. It feels as though it should be a sad moment in time. I’m not sensing any sadness. What’s up with that?
Yes, Mom has moved on. Yet, I don’t feel that I am without her. True, I can’t pick up a phone and call her. No matter. I don’t need to call her. She’s close at hand, perhaps closer than I’ve felt her in awhile. Just this morning I felt her presence, as if she was standing next to me, as I wistfully looked out the door and wished her a “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom”.
I do miss hearing her voice. Still, I remember my last conversation with her. Me: Hi Mom, it’s Peter. Mom: Hi Pete!!! … (and a short exchange beyond that).
I know that I’ll get used to this new way of being and the ease of access to her. It was actually a bit of a struggle connecting with her, with her being in one facility or another over the last couple of years. She hated being out of her home. Can’t say as I blame her. I know one day that may well be my destiny. I just hope I have the wherewithall to negotiate that, when the time comes.
For now, it’s Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!!! I Love You.
Peter
I get it, Anne. And thank you for your response.
Yes, this Mother’s Day seemed a little empty as I cruised through Dollar Tree store and saw the Mother’s Day cards and decorations. I realized that this was the first time in 63 years that I wouldn’t buy a card or search out a gift. Then I recalled a saying …”Grief is just love that has no where to go.” I found that helpful because I could then recognize that I did have love, and if I was patient, would find someone or something that might want that love. Maybe that’s too simplistic for some people, but it works for me.