For some time now, I’ve been looking forward to a time where I can really help people. I’ve been wanting to get to a place where I can do the most good. Often, I’ve asked the question, “what is it that I am supposed to be doing”. Many of us are searching for our purpose in this lifetime. Or, at least, having a sense of our purpose, found ourselves pacing around waiting for a cue to step into our role. I’m no different in that respect.
I’ve been a landscaper for most of my adult life. Generally, I’m good at what I do and enjoy the creativity that comes with this profession. I also have enjoyed the fact that very often, even most often, the work that I’ve done in people’s yards has given my clients the benefit of being able to fully enjoy their yard and even brought unexpected pleasure out of being out there.
I’m not enjoying the work I do in the same way as I have before. Not having my own business, I’m working for someone else now. And, this company doesn’t offer the kind of creative landscapes that I did (i.e. water features, rock walls, patios, custom plantings). This, together with my body not enjoying the work as much as it used to seems to be indicative of my time in this field winding down.
This is not a bad thing. I’m finally ready to move on. But, to what? I thoroughly enjoy healing work and love sharing what my own spirituality brings to me. I love helping people. I so very much want to be in some line of “work” that offers the opportunity to share all of these things. Yet, I’m not getting any sense of how to go about that. I’m not getting any sense of a definite direction to head in.
So, I’ve come to a place where it seems most appropriate to back off of this ever seeking, ever wanting, ever looking for what it is I am truly supposed to be doing with the next 40 years of my life. Oh, I can’t completely walk away from any aspect of this type of life, this way of being. I’m not giving up on anything other than the seeking. Much the same as I came to a place in my life where I no longer felt that I needed to be looking for love, I feel that I no longer need to be looking for what comes next.
Rather, I’m making the conscious choice to focus on my own healing. I am choosing to focus on my own continued spiritual growth and in raising my own energetic vibration. We know that any healing and spiritual growth that we manifest in ourselves can’t help but benefit anyone that we interact with on even a daily basis. So, in doing so, I’m choosing to benefit myself, and therefore anyone that I chance to encounter in this lifetime. Hopefully, sometime in the next 40 years I’ll be given the opportunity to do more. But, if not, at least I can help in this little way.
Peter J Quandt